Inspiration for a Tombstone.

[Tedd-3]

Hi gang:

For a break in our normal serious thinking, I suggested tombstone wit of:

"Always on the edge of greatness"

Dan offered:

</cruelWorld> or </Dan> or

<?php
     function dan($dateOfDeath) {
         return "Daniel P. Brown: 01-01-1970 - ".$dateOfDeath";
     }
     die(dan('00-00-0000'));
?>

What would you like on your Tombstone? (<-- that's actually a
trademarked saying)

Cheers,

tedd
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[Daniel Brown-5]

On Thu, Jun 26, 2008 at 10:31 AM, tedd <tedd@...> wrote:
>
> What would you like on your Tombstone? (<-- that's actually a trademarked
> saying)

    "What do you want on your Tombstone?"

    "Pepperoni and sausage!"

--
</Daniel P. Brown>
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[Dan Shirah]

<?php
if ($you_can_read_this = "Yes") {
  echo "STOP STANDING ON ME!";
}
?>


On 6/26/08, tedd <tedd@...> wrote:

>
> Hi gang:
>
> For a break in our normal serious thinking, I suggested tombstone wit of:
>
> "Always on the edge of greatness"
>
> Dan offered:
>
> </cruelWorld> or </Dan> or
>
> <?php
>    function dan($dateOfDeath) {
>        return "Daniel P. Brown: 01-01-1970 - ".$dateOfDeath";
>    }
>    die(dan('00-00-0000'));
> ?>
>
> What would you like on your Tombstone? (<-- that's actually a trademarked
> saying)
>
> Cheers,
>
> tedd
> --
> -------
> http://sperling.com  http://ancientstones.com  http://earthstones.com
>
> --
> PHP General Mailing List (http://www.php.net/)
> To unsubscribe, visit: http://www.php.net/unsub.php
>
>

[Daniel Brown-5]

On Thu, Jun 26, 2008 at 10:37 AM, Dan Shirah <mrsquash2@...> wrote:
> <?php
> if ($you_can_read_this = "Yes") {
>  echo "STOP STANDING ON ME!";
> }
> ?>

    That will always evaluate to TRUE because you're setting the
variable in your if() condition.

--
</Daniel P. Brown>
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[Colin Guthrie-6]

Dan Shirah wrote:
> <?php
> if ($you_can_read_this = "Yes") {
>   echo "STOP STANDING ON ME!";
> }
> ?>

I would put:
"He put his constants first in if() statements until the end of his days".

Or

"He always preferred syntax errors to annoying logical bugs.".

:p

Col.


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[Aschwin Wesselius-2]

tedd wrote:

> Hi gang:
>
> For a break in our normal serious thinking, I suggested tombstone wit of:
>
> "Always on the edge of greatness"
>
> Dan offered:
>
> </cruelWorld> or </Dan> or
>
> <?php
>     function dan($dateOfDeath) {
>         return "Daniel P. Brown: 01-01-1970 - ".$dateOfDeath";
>     }
>     die(dan('00-00-0000'));
> ?>
>
> What would you like on your Tombstone? (<-- that's actually a
> trademarked saying)

Hi,

There are plenty of things that cross my mind about this:

A simple end of script tag:

?>

But that is really vague of course.

Another would be:

function life(&$user) {
   
    while($user->days_on_earth !== COUNTED) {

       $user->do_stuff();
    }

    $user->disconnect();
}

Endless things possible with programming metaphors.


--

Aschwin Wesselius

/'What you would like to be done to you, do that to the other....'/

[Boyd, Todd M.]

> -----Original Message-----
> From: tedd [mailto:tedd@...]
> Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2008 9:31 AM
> To: php php
> Subject: [PHP] Inspiration for a Tombstone.
>
> Hi gang:
>
> For a break in our normal serious thinking, I suggested tombstone wit
> of:
>
> "Always on the edge of greatness"
>
> Dan offered:
>
> </cruelWorld> or </Dan> or
>
> <?php
>      function dan($dateOfDeath) {
>          return "Daniel P. Brown: 01-01-1970 - ".$dateOfDeath";
>      }
>      die(dan('00-00-0000'));
> ?>
>
> What would you like on your Tombstone? (<-- that's actually a
> trademarked saying)

Tombstone Pizza, Pierre!

So... is this like the opposite of a "Hello world" program? Perhaps a
"Goodbye world" program? :) I want something like "Download complete" or
"Buffering" on mine.


Todd Boyd
Web Programmer




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[Eric Butera-2]

On Thu, Jun 26, 2008 at 10:31 AM, tedd <tedd@...> wrote:

> Hi gang:
>
> For a break in our normal serious thinking, I suggested tombstone wit of:
>
> "Always on the edge of greatness"
>
> Dan offered:
>
> </cruelWorld> or </Dan> or
>
> <?php
>    function dan($dateOfDeath) {
>        return "Daniel P. Brown: 01-01-1970 - ".$dateOfDeath";
>    }
>    die(dan('00-00-0000'));
> ?>
>
> What would you like on your Tombstone? (<-- that's actually a trademarked
> saying)
>
> Cheers,
>
> tedd
> --
> -------
> http://sperling.com  http://ancientstones.com  http://earthstones.com
>
> --
> PHP General Mailing List (http://www.php.net/)
> To unsubscribe, visit: http://www.php.net/unsub.php
>
>

echo "Fatal error: Maximum execution time of {$duration} seconds exceeded";

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[Jay Blanchard-3]

[snip]
<?php
if ($you_can_read_this = "Yes") {
  echo "STOP STANDING ON ME!";
}
?>
[/snip]

<?php

switch($status_jay){

   case 'alive':
      stream_set_timeout ($jay , '1576800000');
   break;

   case 'vegetable':
      pull_plug(TRUE);
   break;

   case 'dead':
      oven_set_hot(TRUE);
      oven_insert($jay, '7200');
      ashes_remove($jay);
      ashes_spread($jay, 'Crescent City', CELEBRATE);
   break;

}

?>

No tombstone required.

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[Christoph Boget-2]

> "Always on the edge of greatness"

"Tripped on his way to the edge of greatness"

thnx,
Christoph

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[Dan Shirah]

<?php
include 'connection.php';
$inquire = "SELECT COUNT(*) FROM heartbeat WHERE user_name = 'Dan'";
$count = ifx_query ($inquire, $connect_id);
$rowcount = ifx_fetch_row($count);
$pulse = $rowcount['total'];

if ($heartbeat > 0) {
  echo "_/\^___/\^____/\^___";
} else {
  echo "________________";
}
?>

[Edward Kay]

>
> What would you like on your Tombstone? (<-- that's actually a
> trademarked saying)
>

I've always liked Spike Milligan's:

 "I told you I was ill"

:)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/southern_counties/3742443.stm

Edward

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[Daniel Brown-5]

2008/6/26 Dan Shirah <mrsquash2@...>:

> <?php
> include 'connection.php';
> $inquire = "SELECT COUNT(*) FROM heartbeat WHERE user_name = 'Dan'";
> $count = ifx_query ($inquire, $connect_id);
> $rowcount = ifx_fetch_row($count);
> $pulse = $rowcount['total'];
>
> if ($heartbeat > 0) {
>  echo "_/\^___/\^____/\^___";
> } else {
>  echo "________________";
> }
> ?>

    We're sorry, Otherdan.  Hell is not compatible with Informix.

--
</Daniel P. Brown>
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[Dan Shirah]

if ($user_name = "Dan Brown") {
  echo "GOING DOWN?!";
} else {
  echo "Welcome to Heaven";
}



On 6/26/08, Daniel Brown <parasane@...> wrote:

>
> 2008/6/26 Dan Shirah <mrsquash2@...>:
> > <?php
> > include 'connection.php';
> > $inquire = "SELECT COUNT(*) FROM heartbeat WHERE user_name = 'Dan'";
> > $count = ifx_query ($inquire, $connect_id);
> > $rowcount = ifx_fetch_row($count);
> > $pulse = $rowcount['total'];
> >
> > if ($heartbeat > 0) {
> >  echo "_/\^___/\^____/\^___";
> > } else {
> >  echo "________________";
> > }
> > ?>
>
>    We're sorry, Otherdan.  Hell is not compatible with Informix.
>
> --
> </Daniel P. Brown>
> Dedicated Servers - Intel 2.4GHz w/2TB bandwidth/mo. starting at just
> $59.99/mo. with no contract!
> Dedicated servers, VPS, and hosting from $2.50/mo.
>

[Christoph Boget-2]

> if ($user_name = "Dan Brown") {
>  echo "GOING DOWN?!";
> } else {
>  echo "Welcome to Heaven";
> }

So I guess that means we're all on the express elevator down.  Looks
like it'll get awfully full... :p

thnx,
Chris

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[Daniel Brown-5]

On Thu, Jun 26, 2008 at 11:29 AM, Christoph Boget
<christoph.boget@...> wrote:
>> if ($user_name = "Dan Brown") {
>>  echo "GOING DOWN?!";
>> } else {
>>  echo "Welcome to Heaven";
>> }
>
> So I guess that means we're all on the express elevator down.  Looks
> like it'll get awfully full... :p

    Yeah, he keeps forgetting his second =.  ;-P

    That means you're also going to all be renamed to Dan Brown.  It's
sure as hell going to get confusing in that packed elevator....

--
</Daniel P. Brown>
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[Dan Shirah]

if ($user_name == "Dan S") {
  echo "Quit while you're ahead";
}
exit;

[tedd-2]

At 9:49 AM -0500 6/26/08, Boyd, Todd M. wrote:
>I want something like "Download complete"

I would prefer "Upload complete".  :-)

Cheers,

tedd
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[Bastien Koert-3]

On Thu, Jun 26, 2008 at 10:51 AM, Eric Butera <eric.butera@...> wrote:

> [snip]
>
> echo "Fatal error: Maximum execution time of {$duration} seconds exceeded";
> [/snip]
>

That's awesome

how about

<?php

die('All Done');

?>
--

Bastien

Cat, the other other white meat

[tedd-2]

Or

unlink('tedd');

Cheers,

tedd

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