I wish to murder the extremely English language and any extremely gramaticals therewith

[CDB-3]

 The Employer

Our client is an international company that specialises in medical and
life science products and equipment. Their reach here in Australia is
national with a presence in all major cities for both sales, service
and distribution. Their brand name is recognised globally and they
have the ability to leverage of that and get them selves through the
door of all their major clients. Their diagnostic division has been
around for an extremely long time and they continue to invest in
continuous product improvement ensuring they stay at the head of the
pact. They have an extremely corporate profile that encourages ongoing
training and development for their staff and ensure that your working
experience is a positive one.

The Vacant Position

The position currently available is for an extremely stable team based
out of Brisbane, that of their service division. The role as customer
support engineer will see you doing a range of things including,
installations, service and general maintenance. Mainly focussed on
Brisbane metropolitan you may be required to do some regional travel
form time to time but you will have plenty of notice if that does
occur. The range of equipment you will be working on will cover
diagnostic equipment in both the science and medical fronts and your
customers will range form hospitals through to Universities. Not only
will you be a technician but you will be the face of the company on
the front line and you will need to build strong relationships as you
go with each and every client that falls in to your territory. This
role will involve ongoing training and development.

The successful candidate will be rewarded with:

A Base Salary Dependent on Experience ranging from $65-$75K + Super
Fully Maintained Company Vehicle or Car Allowance
Ongoing training and development
Experience Required

For your application to proceed you will need to have some exposure to
working on life science equipment or diagnostic equipment. You must
have appropriate qualifications in either electronics /electrical
engineering and / or bio medical engineering. You are a motivated
individual that wants to be part of a large international company that
has a strong presence in QLD. You will need to be happy to work some
on call hours but this will not be the predominant focus of your
position. You will be working in a small and highly trained team. If
you feel this role is the opportunity that you have been looking for
then please apply now by sending your resume to
--
cdb,  on 11/05/2008



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[Gerhard Fiedler]

cdb wrote:

>  The Employer
>
> Our client is an international company that specialises in medical and
> life science products and equipment. Their reach here in Australia is
> national with a presence in all major cities for both sales, service
> and distribution. Their brand name is recognised globally and they
> have the ability to leverage of that and get them selves through the
> door of all their major clients. Their diagnostic division has been
> around for an extremely long time and they continue to invest in
> continuous product improvement ensuring they stay at the head of the
> pact. They have an extremely corporate profile that encourages ongoing
> training and development for their staff and ensure that your working
> experience is a positive one.
>
> The Vacant Position
>
> The position currently available is for an extremely stable team based
> out of Brisbane, that of their service division. The role as customer
> support engineer will see you doing a range of things including,
> installations, service and general maintenance. Mainly focussed on
> Brisbane metropolitan you may be required to do some regional travel
> form time to time but you will have plenty of notice if that does
> occur. The range of equipment you will be working on will cover
> diagnostic equipment in both the science and medical fronts and your
> customers will range form hospitals through to Universities. Not only
> will you be a technician but you will be the face of the company on
> the front line and you will need to build strong relationships as you
> go with each and every client that falls in to your territory. This
> role will involve ongoing training and development.
>
> The successful candidate will be rewarded with:
>
> A Base Salary Dependent on Experience ranging from $65-$75K + Super
> Fully Maintained Company Vehicle or Car Allowance
> Ongoing training and development
> Experience Required
>
> For your application to proceed you will need to have some exposure to
> working on life science equipment or diagnostic equipment. You must
> have appropriate qualifications in either electronics /electrical
> engineering and / or bio medical engineering. You are a motivated
> individual that wants to be part of a large international company that
> has a strong presence in QLD. You will need to be happy to work some
> on call hours but this will not be the predominant focus of your
> position. You will be working in a small and highly trained team. If
> you feel this role is the opportunity that you have been looking for
> then please apply now by sending your resume to

I'm not sure I understood this post, possibly because English is not my
native language. The English in this ad sounds a bit odd to me, but it does
seem to employ generally correct grammar. If I read the subject correctly,
cdb seems to imply that there is some (not further specified) problem with
the grammar. Can somebody please explain to me this post?

Thanks,
Gerhard

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[Brendan Gillatt]

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Hash: SHA1

Gerhard Fiedler wrote:
> I'm not sure I understood this post, possibly because English is not my
> native language. The English in this ad sounds a bit odd to me, but it does
> seem to employ generally correct grammar. If I read the subject correctly,
> cdb seems to imply that there is some (not further specified) problem with
> the grammar. Can somebody please explain to me this post?
>
> Thanks,
> Gerhard
>


> and they have the ability to leverage of that

The above makes absolutely zero sense. That's in the first paragraph. I
didn't bother to read the rest =]


- --
Brendan Gillatt | GPG Key: 0xBF6A0D94
brendan {a} brendangillatt (dot) co (dot) uk
http://www.brendangillatt.co.uk
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[Gerhard Fiedler]

Brendan Gillatt wrote:

>> and they have the ability to leverage of that
>
> The above makes absolutely zero sense. That's in the first paragraph. I
> didn't bother to read the rest =]

To me, it makes about as much sense as "makes absolutely zero sense"  :)
-- that is, it sounds a bit strange but I can get the drift, so to speak.

Gerhard

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[CDB-3]

:: I'm not sure I understood this post, possibly because English is
:: not my
:: native language. The English in this ad sounds a bit odd to me,
:: but it does
:: seem to employ generally correct grammar. If I read the subject
:: correctly,
:: cdb seems to imply that there is some (not further specified)
:: problem with
:: the grammar. Can somebody please explain to me this post?
::
:: Thanks,
:: Gerhard

For me the use of extremely three times was just the icing on the cake. Poor phrasing, not use the correct words in context, mangling the placement of verbs, adjectives, nouns etc.

Their reach here in Australia is national with a presence.  -Strange choice of words and phrasing

and they have the ability to leverage of that.  -Torturous sentence, incorrect context and absolute nonsense

get them selves through the door of all their major clients. - As above

they stay at the head of the pact. - I assume they don't mean 'stay at the forefront of agreement'.

They have an extremely corporate profile. - What the heck does that mean?

and ensure that your working experience is a positive one.  -Might 'ensures' be more correct, apart from which, how do they ensure I have a positive experience and exactly what do they mean by that?

The position currently available is for an extremely stable team based out of Brisbane, that of their service division. -Torturous.

you will need to build strong relationships as you go with each and every client that falls in to your territory. -What am I a loose (wo)men?

Colin
--
cdb, colin@... on 12/05/2008

Web presence: www.btech-online.co.uk  

Hosted by:  www.1and1.co.uk/?k_id=7988359








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[David VanHorn-2]

Typical corporatese.
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[Jinx-4]

> ensuring they stay at the head of the pact

????

> They have an extremely corporate profile

????

Some job descriptions should be referred to the campaign for
better English, or even given the once-over by other staff

I was helping a friend out a few weeks ago at her laminating/
framing/mounting business. There were piles of real estate
posters to be done - a not-inexpensive exercise for the agents
involved. Not one of them had plurals or apostrophes right.
The usual "its" confusion, " vendor's ", even " balconie's " for
goodness sake. Obviously no proof-reading done or the
proof-reader was as illiterate as the composer


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[Richard Prosser]

But if it's wrong, it's more likely to attract your attention!

RP

2008/5/12 Jinx <joecolquitt@...>:

>> ensuring they stay at the head of the pact
>
> ????
>
>> They have an extremely corporate profile
>
> ????
>
> Some job descriptions should be referred to the campaign for
> better English, or even given the once-over by other staff
>
> I was helping a friend out a few weeks ago at her laminating/
> framing/mounting business. There were piles of real estate
> posters to be done - a not-inexpensive exercise for the agents
> involved. Not one of them had plurals or apostrophes right.
> The usual "its" confusion, " vendor's ", even " balconie's " for
> goodness sake. Obviously no proof-reading done or the
> proof-reader was as illiterate as the composer
>
>
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[Spehro Pefhany]

At 09:51 AM 5/11/2008, you wrote:

>cdb wrote:
>
> >  The Employer
> >
> > Our client is an international company that specialises in medical and
> > life science products and equipment. Their reach here in Australia is
> > national with a presence in all major cities for both sales, service
> > and distribution. Their brand name is recognised globally and they
> > have the ability to leverage of that and get them selves through the
> > door of all their major clients. Their diagnostic division has been
> > around for an extremely long time and they continue to invest in
> > continuous product improvement ensuring they stay at the head of the
> > pact. They have an extremely corporate profile that encourages ongoing
> > training and development for their staff and ensure that your working
> > experience is a positive one.
> >
> > The Vacant Position
> >
> > The position currently available is for an extremely stable team based
> > out of Brisbane, that of their service division. The role as customer
> > support engineer will see you doing a range of things including,
> > installations, service and general maintenance. Mainly focussed on
> > Brisbane metropolitan you may be required to do some regional travel
> > form time to time but you will have plenty of notice if that does
> > occur. The range of equipment you will be working on will cover
> > diagnostic equipment in both the science and medical fronts and your
> > customers will range form hospitals through to Universities. Not only
> > will you be a technician but you will be the face of the company on
> > the front line and you will need to build strong relationships as you
> > go with each and every client that falls in to your territory. This
> > role will involve ongoing training and development.
> >
> > The successful candidate will be rewarded with:
> >
> > A Base Salary Dependent on Experience ranging from $65-$75K + Super
> > Fully Maintained Company Vehicle or Car Allowance
> > Ongoing training and development
> > Experience Required
> >
> > For your application to proceed you will need to have some exposure to
> > working on life science equipment or diagnostic equipment. You must
> > have appropriate qualifications in either electronics /electrical
> > engineering and / or bio medical engineering. You are a motivated
> > individual that wants to be part of a large international company that
> > has a strong presence in QLD. You will need to be happy to work some
> > on call hours but this will not be the predominant focus of your
> > position. You will be working in a small and highly trained team. If
> > you feel this role is the opportunity that you have been looking for
> > then please apply now by sending your resume to
>
>I'm not sure I understood this post, possibly because English is not my
>native language. The English in this ad sounds a bit odd to me, but it does
>seem to employ generally correct grammar. If I read the subject correctly,
>cdb seems to imply that there is some (not further specified) problem with
>the grammar. Can somebody please explain to me this post?
>
>Thanks,
>Gerhard

While the meaning is clear enough, there are quite a number of small errors in
the text. Aside from style and content, and the BrE spelling (which is not an
error, but could trigger AmE spell checkers), there are at least ten errors
in the first two paragraphs. For example:

"both sales, services and distribution"  <-- "both" refers to two items only
"leverage of that" is not idiomatic English
"them selves" should be "themselves"
"head of the pact" should be "head of the pack"
"extremely corporate profile" is probably missing an adjective
"ensure" should be "ensures"

skipping over a bit..

"form" should be "from" (twice) etc.

I'm not sure if the author is not a native English speaker or just
sloppy/illiterate. There are no spelling errors, no doubt because it
was fed through a spill chequer.

>Best regards,

Spehro Pefhany --"it's the network..."            "The Journey is the reward"
speff@...             Info for manufacturers: http://www.trexon.com
Embedded software/hardware/analog  Info for designers:  http://www.speff.com



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[Jinx-4]

> But if it's wrong, it's more likely to attract your attention!

So YOU'RE the one behind it all ;-)

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[Matthew Rhys-Roberts]

Yuck, I would hate to work for either the employer or the advertising
agency!

Come back plain English, all is forgiven.

Matt


cdb wrote:
>  The Employer
>  
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[Gerhard Fiedler]

Spehro Pefhany wrote:

> I'm not sure if the author is not a native English speaker or just
> sloppy/illiterate.

To me it just sounds a bit odd, similar to some posts from Asian people who
didn't yet have a chance to get used to using AE slang :)

Anyway, even though I try to use (and encourage the use of) correct
language even when it's not my native language, I've learned to separate
job performance (or any kind of non-language performance) from language
skills in a specific language.

Gerhard

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[Apptech]

I'm unlikely to add vast value to this already reasonably
thrashed subject, but:

> Yuck, I would hate to work for either the employer or the
> advertising
> agency!

> Come back plain English, all is forgiven.

There is a place for un-plain English. It can be fun and
even useful. The problem here is that the writer has tried
to be impressive and instead ended up demonstrating their
ignorance. The language is just plain wrong in places and
silly in others. Where neither of these applies it tends to
be cumbersome. The impression given (to me at least) is that
the writer is not skilled in the use of English as a fine
tool. It seems likely that English is their first language
(or Oztralian) but that they usually use it in a sloppy
manner.

__________

> Their reach

Awkward. Better options exist

> they have the ability to leverage

USA'ian ?

> of that

off that?
Poor regardless.

> and get them selves

themselves

> through the door of all their major clients.

Slang.

> Their diagnostic division has been around for an extremely
> long time

Low grade phrasing.

> ensuring they stay at the head of the pact.

Head of the PACK.
Coloquialism.

> They have an extremely corporate profile

Low grade phrasing.

> that encourages ongoing training and development for their
> staff

Poorly put.

> and ensure that your working experience is a positive one.

Doesn't scan well.
Poorly put. === PP

> is for an extremely stable team

PP
... You will be a member of an extremely stable team ...
/ ... as a member of ...

> based out of Brisbane,

USA'ian?
Near ... ?

> ...

PP ... :-)

> to do some regional travel

do travel ?
Undertake ...
Occasionally travel regionally ...
Some regional travel is ...

> form time to time

from ...
PP
Vulgar phraseology .. :-)

> customers will range form hospitals

from, again.

> Not only will you be a technician but you
> will be the face of the company on
> the front line

The Somme. perhaps.
Just horrible.
Meaning is clear.
But all horribly mangled.

> ... each and every client that falls in to your territory.

PP / low grade / colloquial / ...

> The successful candidate will be rewarded with:

It seemed to get quite a lot better from about here.
Perhaps they copied copy from elsewhere with appropriate
amendments.


        R

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[Apptech]

> Anyway, even though I try to use (and encourage the use
> of) correct
> language even when it's not my native language, I've
> learned to separate
> job performance (or any kind of non-language performance)
> from language
> skills in a specific language.

In this instance I suspect that the writer IS a
native-Australian (aka English) speaker but poorly educated
and that they are trying to write an ad that should have
been dealt with by a more qualified person.


        Russell

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[Michael Rigby-Jones]

> -----Original Message-----
> From: piclist-bounces@... [mailto:piclist-bounces@...] On
Behalf
> Of David VanHorn
> Sent: 11 May 2008 22:33
> To: Microcontroller discussion list - Public.
> Subject: Re: [OT] I wish to murder the extremely English language and
> anyextremely gramaticals therewith
>
> Typical corporatese.

Russell hit the nail on the head; it's someone attempting to write
corporatese, but failing.  I suspect the words chosen by the author had
been previously heard, found to be 'important sounding', but not
actually understood.

Mike

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[Xiaofan Chen]

On Mon, May 12, 2008 at 8:16 PM, Apptech <apptech@...> wrote:
> I'm unlikely to add vast value to this already reasonably
> thrashed subject, but:

I think you did. Thanks for the English education.
I think your English is very good (among native
speakers) and I admire your use of English. I am not
a native speaker and I have no way to use English
as elegant as a well-educated native English speaker.

> It seems likely that English is their first language
> (or Oztralian) but that they usually use it in a sloppy
> manner.

Hmm, what is the difference between New Zeland English
and Australian Englsh? The accent may be slightly
different. My first oral English teacher back in
1990 (we call him Mr Dawson, used to work for NZ
Telecom) is from New Zeland.

Xiaofan
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[David VanHorn-2]

> > From: piclist-bounces@... [mailto:piclist-bounces@...] On
> Behalf
> > Of David VanHorn
> > Sent: 11 May 2008 22:33
> > To: Microcontroller discussion list - Public.
> > Subject: Re: [OT] I wish to murder the extremely English language and
> > anyextremely gramaticals therewith
> >
> > Typical corporatese.
>
> Russell hit the nail on the head;

I am not russel! :)
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