Hear is what we rote at university.

[CDB-3]

 From today's Daily Telegraph (UK one) of malapropisms  from some final
year papers.

Among the gems from this year's undergraduate exams are an economics
student at City University in London student who attributed Northern
Rock's downfall to the "laxative enforcement policies".

In literature, a student from Bath Spa University wrote of Margaret
Atwood's book: "The Handmaid's Tale shows how patriarchy treats women
as escape goats."

A University of Southampton student concerned by global warming wrote
that: "Tackling climate change will require an unpresidented
response."



This I like the best -
And a fellow undergraduate concerned by the threat of diseases, wrote:
"Control of infectious diseases is very important in case an academic
breaks out."

Other examples come from students at St Helens College of Art and
Design near Liverpool, who were asked to "outline the importance of
the four Noble Truths to the Buddhist faith".

One offered the baffling response: "Nirvana cannot be described
because there are no words in existence for doing so. Not
non-existence either, it is beyond the very ideas of existing and not
existing."

This must have been submitted by a former politician known for his
tortuous mangling of some piddly language he called English..

Students at the same university were asked to outline the importance
of the railway in 19th-century Britain. One wrote: "The railways were
invented to bring the Irish from Dublin to Liverpool where they were
promptly arrested for being vagrants", while another responded: "The
railways were invented to take the weight off the motorways."

A student at the University of the West of England in Bristol
astonished his tutor by spelling the subject of one of his favourite
topics wrong: "alchol" instead of "alcohol". Another wrote "whom"
instead of "womb" in an anatomy paper, and one replaced the word
"abdominal" with "abominous".  

Sir, your hypogastric region is totally abominous to me.

I wonder if the collective noun for a group of lecherous (er
lecturers) is an epidemic of academics?

Colin


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[Roger, in Bangkok]

Probably due in great part to hasty rereading after spell checkers have done
their devilish job of hacking things up:-)

RiB

On Thu, Aug 28, 2008 at 12:42 PM, cdb <colin@...> wrote:

>  From today's Daily Telegraph (UK one) of malapropisms  from some final
> year papers.
>
> Among the gems from this year's undergraduate exams are an economics
> student at City University in London student who attributed Northern
> Rock's downfall to the "laxative enforcement policies".
>
> In literature, a student from Bath Spa University wrote of Margaret
> Atwood's book: "The Handmaid's Tale shows how patriarchy treats women
> as escape goats."
>
> A University of Southampton student concerned by global warming wrote
> that: "Tackling climate change will require an unpresidented
> response."
>
>
>
> This I like the best -
> And a fellow undergraduate concerned by the threat of diseases, wrote:
> "Control of infectious diseases is very important in case an academic
> breaks out."
>
> Other examples come from students at St Helens College of Art and
> Design near Liverpool, who were asked to "outline the importance of
> the four Noble Truths to the Buddhist faith".
>
> One offered the baffling response: "Nirvana cannot be described
> because there are no words in existence for doing so. Not
> non-existence either, it is beyond the very ideas of existing and not
> existing."
>
> This must have been submitted by a former politician known for his
> tortuous mangling of some piddly language he called English..
>
> Students at the same university were asked to outline the importance
> of the railway in 19th-century Britain. One wrote: "The railways were
> invented to bring the Irish from Dublin to Liverpool where they were
> promptly arrested for being vagrants", while another responded: "The
> railways were invented to take the weight off the motorways."
>
> A student at the University of the West of England in Bristol
> astonished his tutor by spelling the subject of one of his favourite
> topics wrong: "alchol" instead of "alcohol". Another wrote "whom"
> instead of "womb" in an anatomy paper, and one replaced the word
> "abdominal" with "abominous".
>
> Sir, your hypogastric region is totally abominous to me.
>
> I wonder if the collective noun for a group of lecherous (er
> lecturers) is an epidemic of academics?
>
> Colin
>
>
> --
> cdb,  on 28/08/2008
>
>
>
> --
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[Jinx-4]

> cdb

In an epsode of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue I was listening to
yesterday, Humphrey Lyttleton recalled that an interviewer once
said to him "I hear you're something of an orthinologist". Humph's
regret was that only on the way home did he think of the retort
"Not so much an orthinologist as a word botcher"


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[Apptech]

> One offered the baffling response: "Nirvana cannot be
> described
> because there are no words in existence for doing so. Not
> non-existence either, it is beyond the very ideas of
> existing and not
> existing."

The response may be considered baffling, but I consider it
to be a reasonably good one for it's word count and concept
level. One may, perhaps, take issue with the construction,
but the concept [s]he is trying to convey is clear enough.
Anyone who feels that they can adequately convey the
Buddhist concept of Nirvana clearly and concisely
understands it even (or far) less than this respondent.


        Russell




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[CDB-3]

:: Probably due in great part to hasty rereading after spell checkers
:: have done
:: their devilish job of hacking things up:-)

Yes, I was sat sitting here thinking, and wonder if one possibility
for misspelling is due to mispronunciation or more accurately a
tendency to blur certain sound combinations together.

I have noticed that my spelling when typing (lapsus digitalis
notwithstanding) is worse than when I write with a fountain pen. I say
fountain pen, because I write more slowly and precisely with an ink
pen, than I do with a 'biro' - I blame it on being left handed and
having right handers sit next to me at school.

Colin

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Web presence: www.btech-online.co.uk  
 
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[CDB-3]

I have just found this - quite good if a little short.

http://www.sil.org/~tuggyd/ForFun/Bloopers/Contence.htm


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[William "Chops" Westfield]

On Aug 27, 2008, at 11:22 PM, cdb wrote:

> Yes, I was sat sitting here thinking, and wonder if one possibility
> for misspelling is due to mispronunciation or more accurately a
> tendency to blur certain sound combinations together.

Reminds me of a story my high school biology teacher told about one  
of her students putting "chicken ulcers" as an answer on an exam.  
You know, the disease you can get from eating undercooked pork?  
(Trichinosis)  I don't recall whether that student eventually got  
credit for the answer.  Clearly they were at least paying attention  
in class...

BillW

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[Alan B. Pearce]

>> One offered the baffling response: "Nirvana cannot be
>> described
>> because there are no words in existence for doing so. Not
>> non-existence either, it is beyond the very ideas of
>> existing and not
>> existing."
>
>The response may be considered baffling, but I consider it
>to be a reasonably good one for it's word count and concept
>level. One may, perhaps, take issue with the construction,
>but the concept [s]he is trying to convey is clear enough.
>Anyone who feels that they can adequately convey the
>Buddhist concept of Nirvana clearly and concisely
>understands it even (or far) less than this respondent.

Considering the recent news item here about how a student who put lots of
swear words in his exam essay got higher marks than one who didn't, I would
say this would result in a pass with distinction ...

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[Alan B. Pearce]

>I have just found this - quite good if a little short.
>
> http://www.sil.org/~tuggyd/ForFun/Bloopers/Contence.htm

Always interesting to probe around sites that people send links for. Russell
will like the photos page on this one.

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